Ever find yourself trying to manage your boss? Most of us have at one point or another. Maybe he’s dumping on you. Perhaps he’s disorganized. Maybe he’s never around and you end up making all the decisions and absorbing all the flack.
Regardless of the reason, you can’t just stomp your feet and scream when it get’s overwhelming. You’ve probably got ideas about how to address the issue. Chances are your solutions are right on the mark. But it is natural to hesitate. You don’t want the boss to think you’re . . bossy. If you approach him the wrong way, he might get defensive or worse. That’s the last thing you want. But something has to give and it’s probably up to you to initiate the conversation.
Handling these situations requires diplomacy. After all, you don’t want to lay down the law, flip him the bird, or yell “an orangutan could do this job better than you!” Even if you don’t fly off the handle, just being abrupt can get make things awkward. So how do you approach your boss in a collaborative way without overstepping your place? Preface what you need to say with one of the following three phrases:
Can you help me understand why . . . This diplomatically places the burden on your boss to address your concern. He might, for example, tell you to arrange a meeting for 15 of his colleagues when there is already a professional meeting planner employed by the firm. This task will consume a good deal of your time and delay other projects. Approach him the following way: “I’m happy to arrange the meeting, but that’s going to distract me from the other projects you’ve assigned. Besides, the company has a full-time meeting planner. Can you help me understand why you’re asking me to do this?” Then be silent and wait for a response. On one hand, he may have a very reasonable explanation. On the other, he might say, “You’re right. I’d forgotten about that. Never mind, I’ll check with the planner.”
I’m a bit confused. Prefacing what you’re going to say with this sentence naturally elicits a desire to help on the part of the listener. You might for instance say, “I’m a bit confused. You asked me to arrange this meeting with your colleagues, but I’ve not done that kind of thing before. My learning curve is going to take some time. Wouldn’t it better to ask the firm’s meeting planner to do this?” Then see how the boss responds. He may have a specific reason for wanting you to do it. At least then you have a clear understanding of his goal.
I have a concern. This phrase is a diplomatic way of opening a conversation. You might say, “I have a concern. I’ve no experience in putting together large meetings. Between the logistics and the scheduling, I’d be on a steep learning curve. I know the firm has a full-time meeting planner. Wouldn’t is be better to request assistance from that department.” Once again, wait for a response. Sometimes a boss will assign a task without considering all options simply in an effort to clear his plate. A gentle pushback with a reasonable alternative will get the task off your plate and demonstrate that you know how to communicate and manage his priorities in a professional way. None of these phrases are failsafe. But they will help you open the door to a conversation without appearing combative or emotional.
Finally, rehearse. Have you ever thought you were going to say one thing and said something completely different in the stress of the moment? Join the club. The key to dealing with this concern is rehearsal. Plan what you are going to say. Then role play it with a colleague, close friend or spouse. Briefly explain the situation. Then ask that person to play the role of your boss. Consider the different ways your boss might respond and be prepared for each. Role play the situation several times. Not only will this reduce your stress, you will embed in your mind the words you wish to use.