I’ve had the privilege of connecting with a large number of successful executives over the years. Whether it’s interviewing them for an article, facilitating a workshop, or chatting at a pre-meeting reception, I always look forward to these opportunities.
One the behaviors I’ve observed in many of these leaders is their curiosity, regardless of the person with whom they are speaking. This can be a peer, someone they supervise, a business contact, even the server delivering their meal. Typically, they don’t have an agenda, just a natural sense of wonder. They seek to understand and in the process they establish rapport.
Most people like to explain, be the expert, even dominate the conversation. Not these individuals. They’ve discovered that all kinds of surprises and insights can come from these typically short exchanges. It might be clarity on something they’ve always wondered about. Perhaps they’re conducting a sort of person-on-the-street survey. Maybe something about the other person sparks a particular interest.
At times, they can’t help themselves. I am sometimes granted just a few minutes to interview one of these leaders. Typically, I’ll open the conversation by briefly explaining my purpose. In a number of cases they have responded by asking, “Tell me about yourself first,” or “So how did you get into writing articles?” If I answer that question, however, their natural curiosity will follow up with another and another. If I’m not careful, we’ll spend half of my allotted time talking about me. When this happens, I have learned to politely interrupt them to get the interview back on track. In response, they’ll say something like, “I’m sorry, I’m always interested in what other people do.”
The result of this practice is an immediate rapport with the other person. Many times, the resulting trust wins them instant support and people willing to go an extra length if asked. This is not manipulation. It’s just a natural evolution for two people who develop an affinity for each other.
What’s the bottom line to all this? Act like a successful executive and ask lots of questions. As the old saying goes, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Asking questions is a great way to demonstrate this.