I’m Bob Wendover. Ever find yourself trying to manage your boss? Most of us have at one point or another. Maybe he’s dumping on you. Perhaps she’s disorganized. Maybe he’s never around and you end up making all the decisions and absorbing all the flack. This kind of situation is one of the many that can contribute to burnout. Not only are you managing your own life, you feel like you have to manage theirs.
Regardless of why this is happening, you can’t just stomp your feet and scream when it gets overwhelming. You’ve probably got ideas about how to address this issue. But it is natural to hesitate. You don’t want the boss to think you’re . . bossy. But something has to give and it’s up to you to initiate the conversation.
Handling these situations requires diplomacy. After all, you don’t want to lay down the law, flip the bird, or yell “an orangutan could do this job better than you!” Even if you don’t fly off the handle, just being too direct can make things awkward. So how do you approach your boss in a collaborative way, without overstepping? Try one of these three phrases:
Can you help me understand why . . . This diplomatically places the burden on your boss to address your concern. They might, for example, tell you to arrange a meeting for 15 colleagues when there is already a professional meeting planner employed by the firm. This task will consume a good deal of your time and delay other projects. You might say, “I’m happy to arrange the meeting, but that’s going to distract me from the other projects you’ve assigned. Besides, the company has a full-time meeting planner. Can you help me understand why you’re asking me to do this?” Then be silent and wait for a response. On one hand, your boss may have a reasonable explanation. On the other, he might say, “You’re right. I’d forgotten about that. Never mind, I’ll check with the planner.”
Or you might say, “I’m a bit confused. Prefacing what you’re going to say with this phrase, naturally elicits a desire to help on the part of the listener. You might say for instance, “I’m a bit confused. You asked me to arrange this meeting with your colleagues, but I’ve not done that kind of thing before. My learning curve is going to take some time. Wouldn’t it better to ask the firm’s meeting planner to do this?” Then see how the boss responds. There may be specific reason. But at least then you have a clearer understanding of the rationale.
Or you might say, “I have a concern.” This phrase is another diplomatic way of opening a conversation. You might say, “I have a concern. I’ve no experience in putting together large meetings. Between the logistics and the scheduling, I’d be on a steep learning curve. I know the firm has a full-time meeting planner. Wouldn’t it be better to request assistance from that department?” Once again, wait for a response. Sometimes bosses assign tasks without considering all options, simply to get it off their plate. A gentle pushback with a reasonable alternative will get the task off your plate and demonstrate that you know how to communicate and manage their priorities in a professional way. None of these phrases are failsafe. But they will help you open the door to a conversation without appearing combative or emotional.
A simple strategy like this does not require any more of your time, just a different approach when the situation presents itself. You might feel awkward the first couple of times. But if you make this kind approach routine, the boss will get used to it, you will be able avoid unnecessary tasks and reduce your daily burden. This helps reduce decisions at the margins as I have talked about before. This is just one more in-the-moment way to recapture time and energy. For more, check out our new online, self-paced course Beating Burnout. Click on the link in this post to find out more.