A colleague of mine manages a call center. Several times she has regaled me with stories of things that a few people say or do that drives everyone else batty.
This got me thinking about how much agita is caused by personal behaviors in the workplace. It might be the person who microwaves fish for lunch. Maybe it’s the person who is constantly ten minutes late to every meeting or call. Perhaps it’s the co-worker who always takes up two spaces in the company’s tiny parking lot. Maybe it’s the person who’s always whistling in the hallway. Or the person who reminds you of Pig Pen, the Peanuts character who leaves a trail of empty cups, dirty utensils, and missed shots around the trash can. You can probably list a ton more of these examples.
These people are generally competent and get their jobs done. It’s just that these little behaviors drive you and your co-workers nuts. The unfortunate part is that it is these little proclivities that can distract us from developing a collegial working environment. So how do you deal with these behaviors in a diplomatic manner, but still get the point across that they are unacceptable?
I find many people just can’t find the words to deal with these situations effectively out of fear of damaging working relationships. In that spirit, here are a few ways to approach the conversation I have found work effectively. First – what you might be thinking. Then – how to say it in a kinder and gentler way:
“Did you just heat fish in the microwave again? Do you know how that sticks up the place?”
Instead, how about, “Hi. I know you like to eat seafood. But the aroma from the microwave fills the rest of office. How about something else like sushi for lunch? Thanks.”
Here’s another one. “You’re late again. How about showing up on time for once?” Instead, how about, “Can I persuade you to be on time for our meetings? We don’t want to start without you and it disrupts everyone else’s timing and commitments. Thanks for being on time from now on.”
Okay, one more. “Do you need driving lessons? Why can you park within the lines in the parking lot?” Instead, how about, “Hi. Can I get you to be a little more careful when you’re parking in the morning? We have such a tiny parking lot and when you’re on the line, it’s one less spot everyone else can use. I appreciate your understanding.”
I could go on, but you get the idea. Once again, this is all about diplomacy. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. By the way, rehearse what you’re going to say before you approach the person. That way it comes out the way you want it in the moment.
Bottom line? A few seconds of discomfort will ameliorate that ongoing problem with stinky microwave fish, careless parking or maybe incessant whistling. Give it a try.