Have you been there? You needed to make a critical decision. Maybe you were faced with a crisis and afraid of making the wrong choice. Perhaps you were unexpectedly confronted with a hostile person. The more you focused on the immediate issue or what the person was saying, the less you paid attention to the surrounding environment, people or periphery information. You became consumed with how to respond immediately.
The more you thought about it, the more pressure you felt. After a while, the walls might have felt like they were closing in. Maybe a bit of panic set in. Instead of thinking before acting, you responded emotionally or acted rashly. That might have made matters worse. If this happens enough, it can add to the burnout symptoms you may be feeling. If nothing else, it eats up a lot of energy you could have used elsewhere. This also results in what psychologists call tunnel vision, when we become so consumed with the crisis in front of us that we fail to consider the larger picture.
So, how can you, or I, manage these tunnel vision situations in the most effective way possible? Here is a three-step process I have developed to get a handle on these challenges before letting them get out of control.
First, stop. Don’t allow yourself to get carried away by the momentum in the situation. Angry people and unexpected crises possess an energy that’s easy to get caught up in. Pissed customers, traffic accidents, impatient team members and frustrated family members can suck you in before you have a chance to think through the situation. Instead, don’t say or do anything, even if they insist on an immediate response.
Second, breathe. As I, and others, have written about before, taking a couple of breaths diffuses the energy in most any situation. It also allows the impact of stress hormones to dissipate. This, in turn, will reduce the tunnel vision you may be experiencing. Doing so also buys you a few seconds to gather your thoughts.
Thirdly, deliberate. Consider your options. If you need more time, ask for it. I have always found that saying something like, “I need a bit more time to consider all this before making a decision. Can you give me a few minutes?” is mostly met with a “Yeah, okay.” Watch the leaders you admire. You’ll notice they use some variation of this three-step process to manage these encounters and avoid tunnel vision when doing so.
Here’s an example. One day, as I was preparing a rental property for a new tenant, I was approached by two neighbors, Nancy and Dawn. Nancy said she wanted to complain about the fact that the previous tenants “never” mowed the lawn and that made the rest of the neighborhood look like a “mess.” She also said she was disgusted with all the cars and garbage they left around. She demanded to know what I was going to do to prevent the next tenants from “acting like slobs.”
As a result of her hostile tone, my immediate response was to focus all my attention on her accusations. After all, when you’re a landlord, you want to maintain good relations with the neighbors. But before reacting, I stopped, took a breath, and considered the situation. I knew that the tenants had been mowing the lawn, although probably not to Nancy’s expectations. I had also not seen the cars and garbage she said had been left around. Finally, I noticed that Dawn had not said anything and was looking apologetic because of how hostile Nancy was acting.
At this point, I realized two things. First, Nancy was probably right that the previous tenant has not taken as much care as they could have. But now they were gone. Second, based on Dawn’s reaction, Nancy was a lot more wound up than she needed to be and I was not going to get caught up in that energy.
Result? I apologized profusely for the carelessness of the previous tenant and assured Nancy that I would be very diligent about making sure the next tenant would properly care for the property. If I had tried to refute her perceptions, that would have just added to her hostile energy. Dawn seemed very satisfied with this response. Sadly, I doubt Nancy would have been satisfied with anything I said. But I did not allow Nancy’s confrontation to consume me.
I am certainly not saying I get it right all the time. But I have trained myself to stop, breathe, and deliberate before reacting. As a result, I reduce the stress, think more logically, and consider my words before speaking. That’s what I’ve discovered the best decision makers do and you’re one of those, aren’t you?