My friend, Jack, is a long-time youth baseball coach. I asked him the other day how he has seen his role change over the past decade. He hesitated for a moment and then said, “I find myself dialing it down now.” When I asked him what he meant, he explained that he has become more cautious about how much he pushes his players to go the extra mile.
“Some parents seem to want it both ways,” he continued. “On one hand, they want their child to be the next A-Rod. On the other hand, they become upset when I get in their child’s face when I don’t think he is giving it his all. You can only nurture just so far.
Then it’s time to put the pressure on to see what the kid is made of. Saying he wants it and demonstrating he wants it are two different things. But with increased parental involvement, sometimes interference, and the threat of litigation, I dial it down. I realize that the chances of me being sued are minute, but if enough parents complain about how I coach their child, I may find myself getting sideways with the league. A number of the kids seem more fragile,” he added. “grew up playing stickball in the street and graduated into organized sports. Many of these kids have been in organized sports since pre-school. They’re not as resilient.”
“What’s the impact of all this? I asked.
Jack replied that in his experience kids grow the most when they feel a combination of incentive and pressure to better than they think they can. “If I feel forced to dial it down, they will not grow as much in those natural ways that turn them into confident, critical thinking adults. Sure I’m coaching them in baseball, but more importantly, I am teaching them life skills. If the parents protect them from those pressures, they’re doing the kids a disservice. It’s kind of sad.”