How do you react when the stress hits the fan? It could be something big, like the website going down in the midst of a promotional campaign. But most times, it’s something that strikes when you’re too tired, too busy, too distracted, or maybe a combination of the three.
You know how it works. You’re confronted with the situation. You think, “I don’t have the time for this?” or “I don’t need this aggravation” or maybe “This is going to kill my day.” These responses are human nature, of course, and understandable. But they’re not productive.
Yet there are leaders in who seem to navigate these crises, large or small, with ease. Perhaps you’ve worked for one of them. They keep their head when all of those around them are losing theirs. It’s not like we can avoid stressful situations. They are part of life, both on the job and everywhere else. But how you respond can make all the difference in whether the situation is managed effectively, and those involved follow you as you do so.
You might be wondering, “How are those people able to maintain their calm in situations that unnerve the rest of us?” It’s a great question. The answer comes down to four attributes which, when combined, enable these individuals to successfully navigate these obstacles.
According to McKinsey researchers, Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron de Smet, and Michiel Kruyt, these attributes are adaptability, learning agility, awareness, and emotional self-regulation. The researchers explain all this in their book, Deliberate Calm: How to Learn and Lead in a Volatile World.
Adaptability is that secret sauce that enables us to flex in the face of the unexpected. We are creatures of habit. As a result, we respond to situations based on our experiences and assumptions, regardless of whether those experiences and assumptions are relevant to the current challenge. But what if that situation is something we’ve never encountered before? If there is not a ready-made resolution that comes to mind, we tend to do one of two things: We try to force fit a solution we’re comfortable with into the situation or we freeze, not knowing how to respond. Neither of these is a good option.
Those comfortable with adaptability instinctively take a step, back usually with a bit of humor. They might say something like, “Well, this is going to be interesting,” or “I’ve not seen this one before.” Their response puts those around them at ease and buys them time to consider possible alternatives. They have learned to keep things in perspective.
Then there’s learning agility. Ever been faced with a situation outside your expertise, yet you’re the one having to deal with it? I certainly have. Did you feel awkward, uncomfortable, even lost? Yeah, me too. So what do those who practice deliberate calm do to respond? They
have learned to reach out, reach out to anyone. Learning is not just something we do in a classroom and learning does not just come from an instructor. More times than I can count, I have discovered that the solution to a problem can be found among those around me. I simply ask everyone, “What would you all suggest?” A leader practicing deliberate calm is comfortable taking input from anyone, even the most unexpected person. Next time the unexpected happens, the solution may come from the most unexpected source.
Then there’s awareness. As a leader, how much of a grasp do you have on the workplace around you? You mostly would likely respond, “Intimately,” perhaps with some indignation. Would the people around you respond the same way? Sorry to be so blunt, but I know first-hand how easy it is to get caught up in the do-or-die tasks that come flying at you. When you are overwhelmed by the urgent, the important can fall by the wayside. One those important responsibilities is staying connected to the people and issues going on in the environment around you.
But staying connected with your team, and the organization in general, is essential to being able to deal successfully with the unexpected. Those leaders practicing deliberate calm are able to count on their knowledge of the work environment to provide context which may impact the situation. In spite of the constant pressure most leaders face these days, they make it a priority to walk around, spend time in the break room, drill down on issues that seem to be festering and connect with people about personal issues they may be facing.
Sometimes, these exchanges take a minute or two. Sometimes a bit longer. Are they totally versed in everything? No. But they remain connected to the daily goings-on. Those around them know that. As a result, the team is more likely to reserve judgment when a crisis or some other unexpected issue arises. This benefit of the doubt allows the leader to remain calm and respond effectively.
Finally, there is emotional self-regulation. This attribute can be the toughest to master since pretty much everything we think is processed through a lens of emotion. Ever been in the mood for a ham sandwich? That’s making a decision through a lens of emotion. Ever made a choice based on what someone you respected recommended? That’s making a decision through a lens of emotion. You get the idea. But when the unexpected happens, too often we can be influenced by the person who panics, makes some sort of sarcastic comment, or maybe projects a defeatist attitude. You know, “NOW we’re doomed!” or something like that.
Or maybe you allow yourself to dwell on the pressure to fix the situation. If you react in this way, those around will probably absorb some of this energy. After you’re their leader. Been there? Done that? I certainly have.
Those who practice deliberate calm are able to compartmentalize their emotions when the unexpected happens. Granted, this takes some practice. But over time, they have learned to control their emotions by taking a breath, stepping away and resisting the urge to react before taking a few seconds to put the situation in perspective. After all, most crises appear a lot more serious at first than they are in reality.
As I said, mastering all four of these attributes takes time and repetition. But as I have observed the best leaders over the years, this is one of the practices they all seem to share. Once again, the book is entitled Deliberate Calm and it goes into a lot more detail than I can in this short video. But if you’re looking for some good ideas on how to deal successfully with the unexpected, this would be a good place to start.
What do you do when confronted with the unexpected, especially if those around you are observing and even depending on how you react? Put your ideas in the comments below. We’d all like to know. And make sure to subscribe to this channel for more helpful insights just like these. I’m Bob Wendover