“Challenging conversations don’t come with a confidence monitor.” This thought popped into my head during a chat with my daughter about an upcoming job interview. For the uninitiated, a confidence monitor is a TV screen positioned at the foot of a stage or hung on the wall at the back of the room that provides a speaker with a preview of slides or prompts to ensure that the presentation goes well. I use them during convention keynotes.
While job interviews are not designed to be confrontations, they are naturally stressful nonetheless. This is not unlike having to have a conversation to correct employee behavior or approaching a vendor who is not performing to expectations.
We know what we want to say. But does it really come out that way in the moment? Too many times, what we hear coming out of our mouths is not we’d planned. The stress gets to us. The other person’s reaction is not what we expected. The emotions well up in ways we hadn’t anticipated. In a couple of these moments, I’ve thought, “Gee, I wish I had a confidence monitor so I can just read what I planned to say.”
So, what’s the solution to this challenge? REHEARSE. Practice saying your words out loud. Say them to the mirror. Say them to a friend. Say them to a trusted colleague. Listen to how they sound so you won’t be surprised in the moment.
Consider how the other person might react. Prepare for those possible reactions. Too many leaders, managers, and people in general blow it in the moment because they may think about what to say, but don’t rehearse the actual words. Be methodical. Take the time. Effective professionals prepare for crucial conversations, large and small. This is part of what makes them effective. By the way, my daughter took my advice. The interview went well and she got the job.