I’m Bob Wendover with the practical side of overcoming overwhelm. I’m sure you know what it’s like. We’ve all done it lots of times. You thought through a problem or situation and were sure you knew what to do. And then you did it . . .and it didn’t come out the way you thought. Maybe you were embarrassed. Maybe it cost you money. Maybe you felt like you lost an opportunity. Whatever.
So, how did you react in response? Maybe you were shocked. Perhaps you were disappointed. Maybe the disappointment turned into frustration, even anger. Maybe you cursed yourself for being so stupid. All of this added to the sense of overwhelm you may have already been feeling.
You know the drill.
But . . . what did you learn? Here’s the thing most people forget or fail to learn over time. Every decision we make as humans is made through a lens of emotion. That means that any time we are making a decision that involves others, making a purchase large or small, or maybe deciding on how to work through a project, we’re always influenced by how we feel and our perceptions of what we think we should do. This happens even when ordering a sandwich in a diner. Remember the famous line in When Harry Met Sally? “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Now, I don’t want to drill all the way down to sandwich selection. But when you’re thinking through a decision of significance, here are four secrets for reducing and dealing with unexpected outcomes and mistakes.
First, record your reasoning. Writing down your reasoning is a great way to clarify your thinking before acting and can serve as a reference to return to when things did not go as planned. This can reassure you that you made the best decision given the circumstances, but it didn’t work out. That happens to best of us. So don’t beat yourself up.
Second, acknowledge the possibility of the unexpected. You might say to yourself, I know this is going to be a little bit uncomfortable, or I know that my emotion might get in the way of this. You don’t have to say it out loud. You can just simply say it to yourself, but acknowledge it and compartmentalize it.
Third, recognize the impulses associated with the situation. There are certain cues that you will detect. Take time to examine the way you make decisions, especially when they are emotionally charged. This is especially true when interacting with a person who disagrees with you, or you have to correct someone’s behavior.
Fourth, look for facts and reasoning to replace these emotional urges. Too many times, we make decisions based on emotion, rather than taking a couple of minutes to do a little bit of research, or perhaps to lay out the pros and cons of making the purchase, making the decision or saying a particular thing to someone else. Take a few minutes to re-examine a decision or action you’ve taken in the past week or so, where your emotions got the better of you. It doesn’t have to be something big, but ask yourself, how could I have responded in a more productive way? What can you learn from this?
Effective decision makers are diligent about how they make decisions of consequence. This doesn’t eliminate mistakes, but it certainly reduces the number where emotion hijacks reason. What can you to adopt these methods?