Have you ever offered to help someone who seemed overwhelmed, only to have them refuse the offer? My wife and I have, lots of times. I’ve said, “Let me give you a hand with that,” only to have the person say, “No, it’s okay. I’ve got it.” My wife offered to help someone who was juggling three little kids and grocery bags through a parking lot, only to have the woman refuse her assistance. From our standpoint, it can be downright discouraging. But we have friends who have told us of similar encounters.
We’ve also had neighbors and co-workers say, “I don’t want to burden you,” or “I’d be putting you out.” But here’s the thing, if we didn’t have the time and inclination, we would not have offered in the first place.
Sadly, we’re living in a time when most people don’t want to feel beholden to someone else, especially a stranger. Or maybe it’s because they heard that story of someone in another part of the country who got victimized by a so-called good Samaritan. The media is very good at spreading the word about terrible, but very isolated incidents. If it bleeds, it leads.
And yet millions of “help refusers” feel overwhelmed with daily life and complain about how burned out they are. If you ask me, help is all around if you’re just open to accepting offers, especially from people you know. If someone asks, “Can I give you hand?” say “Yes!”
One of the things I have noticed about the best decision makers is that they accept help, without reservation. They recognize that they can’t, and shouldn’t, do it all. They accept that they can’t know it all. They happily embrace the assistance of those around them. Do they feel obligated to return the favor? Yeah, but not as a burden, as an opportunity. They may not help the person who offered them assistance. But they know that over time they will “pay it forward.”
When a community crisis occurs, everyone comes together to help those in need. Why don’t people accept help when there no community crisis, just someone who’s trying to help in a particular situation? If you want to beat your burnout, you have to accept the assistance of others. That what the best decision makers do. Is it any wonder, then, that they don’t suffer from the feelings of overwhelm which afflict so many other people?