So, what have you done for yourself lately? I’m serious. One of the things I know about the people who experience burnout is that they don’t reward themselves enough. This is especially true of those in the caring professions like healthcare, education and community support services. Some think that when so many other people are suffering or need help, it wouldn’t be right to reward themselves. Other people think that they just don’t have the time and will fall even further behind if they allow themselves to get distracted. Still others believe that they are simply undeserving of rewards for just doing their job or taking care of the kids or caring for aging parents or whatever is consuming so much of their time and energy.
I think all of this is admirable. But if I can be so bold, I also think it is misguided. People in the service of others tend to burnout faster and more intensely than anyone else. They don’t allow themselves what they consider the luxury of rewards, relaxation and just some fun or even silliness. But here’s the brutal truth. If you burn yourself out in sacrifice to others, you can’t be as effective in helping them.
Now, I’m not talking about taking vacations in the south of France here. I’m talking about rewarding yourself for the long hours you’re working, what you accomplish on the job or at home, the fact that you’ve reached some sort of milestone. Here are a few examples.
Courtney told me that she has made Friday evenings after five sacred. “I work about 5O hours, per week along with taking care the kids and the house. One Friday evening about a year ago, I got home at five and my husband was cooking dinner. He just wanted to surprise me. We relaxed watched a movie and did nothing. I shut my mind off and it felt SO good. Over the weekend, I decided I was going to make this a routine, REGARDLESS of what was on my plate. My husband agreed that he’d either prepare dinner or we’d order through Door Dash. I told the kids that Friday evenings are now Mom’s time, no exceptions. If something comes up at work late Friday afternoon, I’ll tell people I have “another commitment.” No one has ever challenged it or asked what the other commitment was.”
Shawna told me that ice cream is her weakness. “I don’t overdo it,” she told me, “but there is nothing better than finishing a project or important meeting and going down to the ice cream shop at street level and just sitting there for 20 minutes with what flavor strikes me that day.”
Then there is Donna. Donna manages a call center, one that is still in an office building rather than having everyone remote. She has made it a practice of leaving the floor every 90 minutes or so. She goes down to the lobby and walks around the outside of the building and garden next door. Her coworkers know that Donna will be unavailable for about 15 minutes. A bonus, she told me, is that everyone seems to survive without her being on the floor, which means they’re making independent decisions.
These rewards are not big things. They don’t cost any money. They are simply indulgences that help an overwhelmed person feel like a person again.
What are the one or two ways you can indulge yourself without disrupting your routine? You need it and the people you serve need it. We’d all like to know. Put them in the comments below and make sure to subscribe to this channel for more practical ideas just like these.