“It’s that first ten or twenty seconds that can dissuade you from taking action,” said Steve a highly successful long-time friend. When I asked him what he meant, he explained it this way:
“If you are uncertain of what the outcome will be when you decide to take action, that uncertainty naturally creates a sense of fear which is manifested by the physical triggers adrenaline and cortisol. In addition, your brain reminds you of all the things that could go wrong if you take this action. If you have to confront someone, they might respond in a way you didn’t anticipate and that could get ugly.
“If you make a big purchase, you might have buyer’s remorse when you see it on sale for a better price or it turns out to be not what you thought. Maybe you decide to speak up in a meeting and then you get shut down by the boss or coworkers. Would you ever take the opportunity to speak up again? Pretty much every action or decision you make involves an element of the unknown. This is what holds most people back from success. The fear of any action overcomes them.”
“So what do you mean by the first ten or twenty seconds?” I asked.
“Even if you’re well prepared, you’re still going to feel some of that apprehension, but only for ten or twenty seconds,” said Steve. “Once you are into the conversation, or the purchase, or explaining the proposal you have, you’ll be focused on the mechanics of that rather that all the stuff that might go wrong because to have to pay attention in the moment.”
“If you’re well prepared and have anticipated the possible emotions and obstacles, just dive in. That’s what I do. Why stew about what you can’t control? Crap happens. But if you’re well prepared, you be able to come up with the best outcome. Let’s face it, with few exceptions, nothing happens exactly the way we want or expect. Life’s all about approximation. If I go in with that kind of expectation, I’m more likely to get the outcome I need even if it’s not exactly what I had hoped.”
“Is this what you would attribute to your success?” I asked.
“A good portion of it,” he said. “When I need to take action or make a significant decision, I’ve conditioned myself to remember that the apprehension I will feel in the first ten to twenty seconds will vanish once I get into the moment, so I had better pay attention to what’s important. And as I said, you have to be well prepared.”
Sometimes, it is little insights like Steve’s that can make all the difference in overcoming overwhelm and reducing stress. What little strategies do you use to manage fear of the unknown? Let me know in the comments below.