Like you, I’ve sat through hundreds of meetings this year, a few thousand over the past five years and probably tens of thousands over three decades. Being a creative and opinionated soul, I have always been anxious to contribute my “helpful” ideas.
But I have also learned to be a keen observer of those around me. Who is genuinely interested? Who is angling for power? Who wants to be someplace else? Who’s trying to entertain himself by making snarky comments? You probably do the same thing sometimes.
Of course, the person leading the meeting has an influence on all this and the meeting’s outcome. But many times, they don’t seem to leverage this influence or even realize they have it. Perhaps you have noticed the same thing. As a result, the discussion drifts or even goes off the rails. Those who are sincerely trying to contribute get frustrated by irrelevant comments, suggestions that don’t seem to mesh with the topic or the people making “funny” comments that distract everyone’s focus. When this happens, the best ideas may not be offered because those who are sincerely invested shut down.
In other instances, the purpose of the meeting or the desired outcome is not explained in a way that provides focus. When was the last time you received an agenda outlining the topics, desired outcomes, decisions to be made and perhaps background reading so that everyone’s up to speed upon attending? Sadly, this kind of prep is lacking too much of the time.
I have made it a practice of watching the senior leaders in the room when all of this takes place. Rather than getting frustrated, they seem to take it all in stride. What do I mean by a senior leader? Generally, it is the person to whom most everyone looks, especially when the meeting seems to be going off the rails. Here are the four patterns I’ve noticed:
First, they attend way fewer meetings. This means that you won’t generally see them at most of the everyday meetings that everyone attends. Instead of attending these meetings, they have found ways to work “behind the scenes” to ensure that people are following the vision and direction they have set. How? Through individual conversations. Rather than competing for attention in meetings, they work through issues with a circle of trusted people who they know will implement their ideas in the meetings they don’t attend.
These one-on-one or one-on-two conversations are generally concise, to the point, and well thought out. More than anyone else, senior leaders are conscious of their time. I have met with thousands of them. They are cordial but also expectant. They are good listeners. They are precise and confine the conversation to the topic at hand.\
If you ask about another issue, they may say something like, “Shoot me an email about that with the background and some options for resolution. Then get on my calendar for 15 minutes to discuss.” In identifying a time frame, they have set a parameter about how long the decision should take and that you had better be prepared when you’re meeting with them. Why? Because too often they’ve discovered that the “other” issue isn’t well focused. As a result, the off-hand question can devolve into a discussion of how to figure out what the actual problem is. They know their time is spent better elsewhere.
Second, they resist the temptation to add comments during the discussion about an issue. They know they how the power of even an off-hand comment can unduly influence direction of the team. This can discourage the insights of others. If someone asks what they think, they might say, “I’ll defer to everyone else right now. Who else has a suggestion or insight.” Then they will remain quiet, even if it is a bit uncomfortable for a few seconds. They also do this to avoid stepping on the influence of the person running the meeting. It is natural for people to look to the “senior” person in the room and the leader wants to observe, not participate, at this stage.
Third, they summarize the suggestions and ideas offered about a decision at just the right time. You might hear them say something like, “So, what I am hearing is . . .” or “Well, the consensus seems to be . . .” This is a subtle way of testing the water and bringing the discussion to a close. If one or more people offer a clarification or a different interpretation, the senior leader will back off and welcome this and remain silent until another natural opportunity for summarizing appears. I’ve noticed that most people in most meetings don’t even realize this is being done. But its effect can be very powerful.
Fourth, they resist the urge to take over, even if the meeting is not going well. After all, someone else is in charge. That said, they will file away their observations about how the leader ran the meeting and how those attending behaved. They are always on the lookout for people to be coached and moved into more influential positions and those, while doing their day-to-day jobs, are just not candidates for grooming and development.
These four practices enable senior leaders to influence without having to be the face of the meeting or pushing the decisions and discussions in a way that might discourage the sharing of valuable, but unpopular, ideas and insights. It takes time to master these practices. But the outcome is well worth it.
In truth, you don’t have to be a senior leader to exert this kind of influence in a meeting, by the way. You simply have to exercise the restraint and focus I’ve just mentioned. It is tempting to jump in when you hear something familiar, something you support, something you vehemently disagree with or because a solution pops into your head that you feel compelled to share. But that can undercut your influence when you really want to be heard.
What have you noticed about how effective senior leaders work productively in meetings? We’d all like to know. Put them in the comments below and make sure to subscribe to this channel for more practical ideas just like these. I’m Bob Wendover.