I recently spent two days working with a group of executives in the construction industry. At one point, they veered off onto what drives them nuts about their subordinates. The number one complaint? Being told what their people think they want to hear.
I asked one individual his strategy for eliciting the unvarnished truth. “I say ‘bulls—t’ a lot,” he said. “I force them to defend their good news. Most learn over time that I’ve got a built-in crap detector.”
In many ways, we Americans have evolved into a conflict-avoidant society. Rather than having honest arguments, politicians demonize their opponents. Rather than fostering vigorous discussions in class, educators issue trigger warnings lest someone might feel discomfort with a controversial topic. Rather than speaking out when government policy harms their businesses, executives hunker down for fear the media, policy makers, or special interest groups will cast them as the devil incarnate. This public environment infects us with a fear of speaking our minds. All of this discourages the frank conversations that deepen relationships, enhances trust and contributes to smarter decisions.
I’ve always been enamored of the adage, “adversity creates opportunity.” We all face challenges, large and small. You can choose look at each of these as obstacles or chances to grow. No one likes to cause discomfort in others, hence the temptation to feed the boss only good news. But what good does that do for you and the organization? I’ve spent lots of time with owners and executives. Not one has ever told me he or she just wants the good news.
Now you might consider this all common sense. But when was the last time you tried to “put some lipstick on the pig,” rather than just telling it like it is? Trust me. You’ll be respected for it.