Are You Saying “Yes” Too Much?

Do you say “yes” too much? You probably know what it’s like. A colleague asks for help with a project and you end up doing a lot more than you planned. You agree to volunteer for a local event and then discover that it’s going to take a lot more time than you assumed. Maybe a friend asks you to help them move, especially if you have pick-up truck. Sound familiar?

At the end of each of these endeavors, you may have asked yourself, “Why did I say yes to THAT?” Or you may have said, “Never again!” Then you went ahead and said “yes” again anyway. But here’s the thing, all these incidental “yes’s” are contributing to the decision fatigue that drags you down.

So, why do you say yes when you kind of know that it’s going to cost more time and energy than you had figured? There are several reasons:

  • You want to be perceived as a nice person.
  • You might feel guilty if you don’t say yes.
  • You say “yes” because you want a feeling of belonging or to be part of something larger.
  • You’re paying it forward in hopes that others will return the favor.
  • You were caught off-guard and said “yes” before taking time to think.

There’s nothing wrong with saying, “yes.” I do it lots of times myself. But I have learned to stop and consider before agreeing impulsively. It is human nature to be accommodating when approached for a favor or participate in an activity. Sometimes saying, “No” can seem almost discourteous. But saying, “No,” may be the best decision you can make. Why? Here are a few reasons:

  1. You’re not the best person to make the decision or participate.
  2. Adding this task to your plate will interfere with or impair your effectiveness in accomplishing more critical responsibilities.
  3. The person asking may be just trying to “turf the task.”
  4. You’re just plain tired and need a legitimate break. (They’re aloud, you know.)

One of the ways effective decision-makers manage their energy and focus is by avoiding less- than-strategic commitments. “But how do you say no?” you might be asking. Here are three responses that help:

  • “Thanks for thinking of me. I just don’t think I’m the best match for this task.”
  • “At this point, I can’t really take on another responsibility. I trust you’ll understand.”
  • “You might approach _______________. I think she might have more interest.”

Notice this list does not include, “I’d love to help, but . .” This phrase telegraphs you are open to other opportunities. As a result, people will continue to approach you. Remember, you have every right to be selective about the decisions, tasks, and other responsibilities you take on unless, of course, they are assigned by the boss. Even in that case, there are tactics for more effectively managing the situation. But that’s a topic for another post.

The next time you’re tempted to say “yes,” take a few seconds to consider the request. Ask a couple of questions about what it would really involve. Perhaps you can say “yes” to part of it. Making this a consistent practice will save time, energy and relieve you of some the decision fatigue that diminishes your productivity and effectiveness.

Do You Really Need a Rule for That?

One of the joys of my job is interviewing a wide diversity of people every year. They generally range from CEOs to front-liners. While you might think senior people would provide the best insights, there are times when someone who doesn’t know how to filter their comments says something that strikes at the heart of an issue. Such was the case with Sammy, a CSR with a regional distributor. I had begun by asking him how he liked his job and he said, “I love it! They have a rule for everything. I don’t have to think about anything.”

“What happens if there’s no rule for something?” I asked.

“I just ask my manager,” said Sammy, “and he tells me exactly what to do.”

At that point, I almost asked, “And why do they need to pay you?” I didn’t. But I wondered how many people in how many organizations across the US have the same impression of their job as Sammy.

The typical retort I get when I challenge managers on this point is, “We turn people so fast, there’s no point in teaching them how to think.” So, what these organizations end up with is one-and-a-half people doing every job, at least on the front line. In other words, one person to do the job and a half a person (ie. the manager) to do the thinking.

So, let’s break this down and examine the premise. First, maintaining this philosophy in a tight job market is like setting fire to thousands of dollars every month. Pouring your effort into retaining people is SO much more profitable that recruiting replacements.

Second, it’s a safe bet that the majority of those hired every year, want to feel like they’re making a contribution. In fact, most surveys reflect this. How would you feel if you discovered you were supposed to say and do the same things over and over again, forty hours a week, with no opportunity for creativity and problem solving? I’d quit in a New York Minute.

Third, how do customers and others feel when your employees say, “I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to do something outside the rules. (And you know some of them will.)

Now, you may be thinking, “This is not me. I don’t do this.” But think about how many times a week you enable those around you by answering their questions instead of making them think independently. Not only will your business thank you, your employees will as well. Why? Because you will have compelled them to develop the critical thinking skills and confidence they will need for the rest of their lives. So how about not creating a rule for everything and making them think instead?

Stop Multi-tasking and Boost Your Productivity

Juliette thinks she’s a master at multi-tasking. She responds to e-mails, checks Facebook, talks with passing colleagues and does her “real work” all at the same time. But she’s exhausted by the end of the day. She woke up twice last night remembering she forgot to submit a report. She almost caused an accident texting her boss about a customer issue. She’s also been nodding off during meetings. So much for being more productive.

The hard reality is that multi-tasking is physically impossible. Attempting to do so impairs your thinking and makes you less productive. So how can this be when everyone seems to believe that it’s the magic pill for getting more done? More importantly, what can you do to eliminate multitasking and make yourself more productive?

We can begin with one irrefutable fact: The brain can only attend to one thing at a time. The key word here is attend. If you are checking Facebook while chatting with a friend, you may hear what they’re saying but are not really listening. That’s why you end up saying, “Sorry, would you repeat that?” If you’re watching a video and typing a report, you may end up keying part of what the actors are saying into the text of what you’re writing. Rather than multi-tasking, what you’re really doing is “time slicing,” a term coined by Microsoft researcher Linda Stone. In other words, your attention is bouncing back and forth from one mental task to another. As your brain attempts to follow this stream of consciousness, it only picks up bits and pieces of each task. The result is incomplete memories about everything. As you attempt to manage several tasks simultaneously, you’re also draining your brain’s reservoir of energy. This is why you arrive at the office feeling energized, only to be dragging by 11AM.

Here’s the critical part of the equation. The brain is constantly learning from your choices and actions and making adjustments. Continued attempts to multi-task tells the brain to form a routine around this kind of back-and-forth energy. Over time, the brain produces dopamine, a pleasure-producing chemical that makes you feel good that you’ve accomplished so much. This, by the way, is the same chemical produced in response to stimulants like caffeine and amphetamines. In other words, you become addicted to the good feeling of accomplishing more, even though it’s an illusion. But this practice can’t go on continuously without producing fatigue and discomfort. That’s why you feel cumulatively exhausted over a period of days or weeks and unhappy when you think you’re not keeping up.

Not only does this pursuit drain your energy, it also makes you a more shallow thinker. When you’re only focusing for milliseconds on each task, the brain does not have the time to create and store the schemas essential to forming clear understandings about each activity and what needs to be accomplished. When you attempt to recall the details of a conversation, a set of verbal instructions or the insight you had about solving a problem, the brain can’t produce them because they weren’t really recorded in memory.

Of course, the constant distractions and messaging in today’s society contribute to all this. When you are immersed in a steady diet of advertisements for 30-second abs, two-minute meals and one-click shopping, your beliefs about what’s possible turn into impatience. This impatience spreads to all parts of your thinking. “If I can have 30-second abs, why isn’t there software than can produce a 30-second report?” After a while, impatience becomes a part of your psyche. This is arguably why attention spans have become abysmally short. Sadly, people who don’t take the time to concentrate fail to grasp the nuances of their daily challenges. That impairs their decision making and quality of work.

At this point, multi-taskers with the patience to read this far are thinking, “Prove it!” Torkel Klingberg, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, observes that, “How well we manage to multi-task is related to the information load on working memory. Often, we can do the tasks if one of them is automatic, such as walking. However, a working memory task can never be automatic, as the information it contains has to be encoded through the frontal and parietal lobes. This is why it can be so difficult to do two working memory tasks at once.”

Daniel Levitan, a professor of behavioral neuroscience at McGill University, adds “Multitasking has been found to increase the production of the stress hormone cortisol as well as the fight-or-flight hormone adrenaline, which can over-stimulate your brain and cause mental fog or scrambled thinking. Multitasking creates a dopamine-addiction feedback loop, effectively rewarding the brain for losing focus and for constantly searching for external stimulation.” Others have even shown that the cognitive losses from multitasking are greater than the cognitive losses from pot smoking.

Of course, many multi-taskers don’t want to hear all this for one simple reason: It challenges long-held beliefs. But here’s an overlooked truth. The most productive people within your workplace compartmentalize their work and complete one task at a time. As a result of this discipline, they benefit from the insights that come with concentration and the momentum associated with following one task to completion. They also work fewer hours, sleep more soundly and enjoy more balance. So what does it take to stop multi-tasking and become one of these productive contributors?

First, stop listening to the “multi-taskers around you. The truth is that multi-tasking is the result of a myth. Sure, you can be running copies, heating water for coffee and texting a colleague at the same time. But how about tasks requiring evaluation, analysis or creativity? Resist the peer pressure and observe those who always produce the best work. Better still, ask them how they do it. Most will be happy to share, but only for a few minutes. After all, you’re interrupting their rhythm.

How do you handle the boss who insists you multi-task? Find a way to demonstrate the difference in outcomes. The next time he or she brings up the topic, you might say, “I read this article that says that focusing on one task at a time results in better overall outcomes and helps me conserve energy. I’ve been trying these ideas for the past few weeks and it does work better.” You might also say something like, “Chuck always seems to produce top-notch work and I asked him how he does it. He told me that he concentrates on one task at a time rather than trying to juggle.” These arguments are tough to refute.

Second, alter your environment to discourage multi-tasking. Addicted to Facebook? Constantly checking CNN for the latest news? Texting all day with your spouse or friends? Set your mobile device to vibrate. Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb.” Turn off the sound on your laptop. Install a pop-up blocker. Exit your e-mail app rather than letting it run in the background. Turn your desk so your eyes don’t connect with everyone passing by.

All of this will come with a certain amount of initial discomfort. But as long as you’re gripped by the desire to multi-task, your ability to be more productive will be thwarted. Over time, that desire for the dopamine rush will be replaced by the rush you feel by producing better results. Remember, all growth comes by dealing with the discomfort associated with change. Allow yourself periodic breaks, of course, but don’t let the distractions drive your day.

Third, chunk your time. Rather than being reactive in managing your time, be proactive. Executives divide their time into short segments allowing them to clearly prioritize daily tasks. One chief financial officer I’ve interviewed divides her ten-hour day into fifteen-minute chunks. Interview a potential vendor? Fifteen minutes or one chunk. Clear e-mail in the morning and afternoon? Thirty minutes each time or four chunks. A telephone call with me? Thirty minutes or two chunks. You’re initial reaction might be, “I can’t do that. People interrupt me all the time.” But that’s what you’re choosing to allow. Put parameters on your time and most people will comply. Those who don’t will learn over time and you’ll benefit from better concentration.

The bottom line? Attempting to multi-task makes you a shallow thinker, impairs your productivity and wears you out. Developing the habits of mind to ignore temptation and remain disciplined about working on one task at a time will ensure that you’ll be the one the boss looks to when it comes time for promotions, bonuses and greater opportunities.

Can’t Keep Up? 7 Quick Ways to Simplify Your Decisions


How do the best decision makers make the best decisions? Here’s what I’ve learned through hundreds of interviews over the past 25 years. The big secret? It’s not about the strategy. It’s about execution. How do you measure up? No excuses.

Don’t decide – Extinguish your inner control freak. Stop making decisions you don’t need to. Pretzels or chips at the division lunch? Who cares? Order of the agenda? What difference does it make? Each of these little imperatives takes energy, energy that you should be expending on more critical issues. If someone has to decide, let those who are most invested do so.

Prioritize – Every Monday morning, make a list of the problems and decisions that will require your attention and energy. Assign each a level of important from 1 to 5. Ditch the 1’s. You shouldn’t be making them. If you can, delegate the 2’s and 3’s. Concentrate on the 4’s and 5’s. Easier said than done? Of course! But those making the best decisions have made this, or something like it, a practice that defines how they approach each week. Not only does it help them improve personal productivity, it inspires those around them to do the same. After all, if you want the boss’ attention, you should emulate their habits.

Delegate – If someone else can make the decision, why should you? Not only is delegation a good way to remove tasks from your plate, it’s a great to observe others in action. How well they handle what you assign is a window into their capabilities and investment in the job. Don’t just dump, however. Explain the meaning and value of what you’re assigning. If you can’t do that, maybe the task doesn’t need to be completed or the decision made.

Get clear – For each decision, ask “What will success look like? Then benchmark against this desired outcome, until the decision is made. Others’ input? Is it relevant to a success outcome? Information gleaned from research? Should it influence the decision? A compelling argument from colleague? Should it impact how you act? More data is not necessarily better, many times it’s just more data.

Spend your energy on the decisions that count – Economist Herbert defined “satisficing” as not making the best decision but the one that’s good enough. Ninety-five percent of daily decisions are “satisficable.” But it’s those five percent that impact your productivity and effectiveness. While the best decision makers certainly deal with their fair share of the urgent, they are careful to guard their energy. Fifty little decisions can drain time, focus and leave little energy for concentration.

Set aside time – Got a big decision to make? Get away and think. The people I’ve interviewed disappear to a location where they can concentrate without distractions. Those with whom they work learn that these times are sacred and disrupting them will get you on the wrong side of the boss. Some take time when necessary. Others set aside the same time every week. Significant decisions are then funneled into these periods for real concentration.

Decide! – If you’ve gathered the best information and are as close to peace as you can get, act. No matter what you decide the outcome will be different that you expect. Why? Because people are unpredictable and life happens. The best decision makers accept this and prepare for what could happen and how to respond. They also learn from these outcomes and use them to inform other decisions going forward.